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Lance’s Dog Patch
A blog by the author of: Lance: A Spirit Unbroken


3/27/2019 8 Comments

​Your Dog Does Not Love You and Other Cold-Nosed Truths



Note to Jess Craigie: Your dog still doesn't love you.

Yes, you jumped into the 40-degree waters of Lake Michigan Tuesday to save her. Paramedics said you were less than five minutes from death when they plucked you and Moxie, your 2-year-old mutt, to safety.

It was a foolhardy risk. But, honestly, I'd have done the same thing if I thought my dog was going to drown.

And my dog doesn't love me, either.

 I tell myself she does -- that she offers me not just affection, but that rare gift of unconditional love.

But in fact, said author Jon Katz, who has written extensively on the bond between humans and dogs, what she, Moxie and other pets offer is neither unconditional nor love.

"Dogs develop very strong, instinctive attachments to the people who feed and care for them," said Katz, speaking Wednesday from his farm in upstate New York. "Over 15,000 years of domestication, they've learned to trick us into thinking that they love us. "

What about the nuzzling? The big, adoring eyes? The wagging glee with which they greet us?

They're all part of what Katz refers to as the "opportunistic, manipulative behavior" that's second nature to dogs.

Not to say that they're canine con artists.

"It's just how their instincts have evolved," Katz said. Dogs aren't deceptive any more than they're sentimental, loyal, nostalgic, witty or bitter.

"They don't have a narrative mind or the language to have those sorts of human qualities," said Katz. Imagining otherwise is part of what he calls the "Disney Dog" idea so many of us buy into.

Their attachment is, in fact, "extremely conditional," Katz said. "They'll respond to anyone who gives them food and attention. I have a wonderful Labrador retriever who's very happy here. But if you had hamburger meat on you, she'd gladly go to Chicago with you and never look back."

I'd been thinking about this subject all week, even before Craigie took the plunge for Moxie (UPDATE -- She responds to this column here).
​
Since Friday, we've been taking care of Scout, the beloved mongrel of my vacationing Tribune colleagues Barbara Brotman and Chuck Berman. And she's shown no sign of pining for them -- no loss of appetite or energy, no unsociable behavior.

"Dogs don't 'miss' you when you go away," said Katz, whose conclusions are supported by university studies of animal behavior. "They might get anxious and confused, but don't mistake that for loneliness or mourning. As soon as they find someone else to take care of them, they forget you pretty quickly."

He added, "I don't mean to imply that dogs aren't great. I love my dogs. But I don't need to pretend that they're like people. That doesn't do them any good. Dogs are happiest when you treat and train them as dogs, not children."

I'll remind Barbara and Chuck of that should they ask for the return of their faithless mutt.

But meanwhile, Jon Katz, moment of truth: Despite your unrequited love, would you leap into an icy Lake Michigan after one of your dogs?

"It's hard to say," he allowed. "I'd like to think I wouldn't; that I'd realize that human life is far more valuable. But watching my dog drown would be very tough."
Can dogs love? Voice your opinion below:
8 Comments
Jennifer Bowden link
4/6/2019 07:43:16 am

I believe dogs do morn and grieve. I have seen dogs being dropped off and the owner walking out. I had a Saint that laid by my front door for 4 days whaling and whimpering for her owner. I see the excitement being different depending on who walks through my front door. My son has started to get very attached to my 20 year old. But he doesn't feed him or take him out might play once in awhile and give a pat on the head. He does sleep with my son but when he leaves for work it is a nightmare for an hour Cooper the rescued chocolate lab mix has been in six homes and just about to turn 4. He knows when my son is coming home because he stands at the top of our steps for 45 minutes waiting for him. He seems to have a sense because my son comes home at all different times it is really strange. But the rescues feel a horrible loss the saints in particular don't eat for 3 days and other emotions happen. Even when these dogs come totally neglected or abused. Yes i would with some thought of a plan jump into lake Michigan for any dog I have seen to many dogs die in my arms. I would never watch another one die and just watch if their was any chance of helping him or her. Thanks for allowing me to share my experience. Don't Shop Adopt!

Reply
walter Stoffel
4/8/2019 07:52:50 pm

Jennifer, Thanks for sharing. Love is in the eye of the beholder and it's likely someone not particularly fond of dogs would not interpret a dog's behavior the way a dog lover would.
I'd like to think I'd have the guts to pull my dog out of a dangerous situation.
Adopt Don't Shop!!!

Reply
Aranka link
4/30/2019 01:48:20 am

Dogs were crated on this planet as Humans dearest pals if only the humans were more Higher aware , open Minded / Conscious of Higher levels of Univ. Knowledge, and understood that Animals on this planet are move Benevolent /of Light energy then Human's. vibrations. Dogs communicate telepathically, via vibrations, energy, their pineal gland (3rd eye) (the 6th chakra region) is Open , unlike humans who talk (5th chakra) and suppress their Higher Intuitive abilities / telepathy and only follow their 3d Mind / limited to 3d consciousness , with false beliefs (to give humans 'ego and power over other animals). what nonsense based on limited beliefs created by the dark vibrations interfering and still trying to control this Earth fro selfish agendas.. So the Dog life forms are on earth to help Humans understand what pure Love, companionship, giving and sharing a life feels like,,,, and they need lots of Love and protection in return.
It is very regretful that there are so many humans that dont understand Love and love form animals.
I grew up in EU on a farm and used to sleep with our horses sicne age 2... and I adore all animals, and can communicate with them .
I work as an Quantum energy Healer and teach healing ...and i work with animals, dogs etc. globally.

I hope more People will open their heart chakras and 3rd eye to experience a far more evolved level of Consciousness on this planet and they will learn a lot via meditation.

Ask your Soul anything you wish to know... to guide your beautiful human mind .... to help you opne your Pineal gland and rec'v the Cosmic Pure Light (carries information) and you will see a Higher way of Being on earth....and realize you also are a magnificent Being here to help Dogs!... and more.

thank you for all the help and Love you have given to many.... esp. rescued dogs.... I adore dogs.... I have a b. collie i saved 2 yrs ago ...
love and Hugs to you and your family.

Reply
walter stoffel link
5/2/2019 03:12:31 pm

Aranka,
Thank for your post and your kind thoughts!
Walter

Reply
Dee Kay
5/31/2019 05:29:37 pm

Aranka,

You said it all so beautifully. I have a kitty that came from the woods when he was a baby and I feel my mom's spirit guided him to my home. There is something very special about him and I would risk my life to save him if I had too. I wish he could be with me when its my time to cross over. Dee

Reply
Walter Stoffel link
8/13/2019 10:47:24 am

Hey "Dee Kay" I think you already know about Winky, Lance's soulmate for many years. He came out of the woods and into our lives. Then, in 2106, when he knew his time was up, he walked back into the woods, never to be seen again.

Joyce
7/2/2019 03:06:32 am

Sorry Jon Katz but if you would have to think twice about saving your drowning dog then you don’t deserve the love of a dog. Of course dogs know how to love and they express it quite eloquently.

Reply
Walter Stoffel
7/8/2019 08:31:57 am

Joyce, I'm with you!

Reply



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    Author Biography
    ​​

    Walter Stoffel is a substance abuse counselor and GED teacher in correctional facilities. When not behind bars, he likes to read, travel, work out and watch bad movies. Major accomplishment : He entered a 26.2-mile marathon following hip replacement surgery and finished—dead last. The author currently lives with his wife Clara, their dog Buddy (another rescue), and cat Winky (yet another rescue).

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